Pineapple Metaphors
by Calendar
Summary: Shikamaru is too lazy to fit into a proper metaphor, and Ino despairs.


Title: Pineapple Metaphors

Author: Calendar  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to its creator and publishing companies  
Spoilers: None  
Pairings: None, unless you consider irritation for a person a romantic attachment  
Summary: Shikamaru is too lazy to fit into a proper metaphor, and Ino despairs.

---

Ino rather liked pineapples. With the short, prickly skin and the leafy greens, it wasn't very appealing on the outside. Inside, however, was the fruit. Tart and sweet, a lovely citrus flavor that was really nice once you got past the initial shock of the tartness.

It was too bad, really, that Shikamaru was only like a pineapple on the outside, otherwise she'd have a really good metaphor on her hands.

It was _so_ like Shikamaru to be too lazy to fit into a proper metaphor, Ino thought disgustedly. Lazy bastard. He probably thought it was too troublesome.

Really, if his head was going to look so much like a pineapple, he should go to the trouble of acting like one too, so that people could have the chance to make a good metaphor. It really wasn't fair.

At first glance, or second or even third, Shikamaru didn't _seem_ very complicated. He was lazy, he was an underachiever, he liked to take naps and stare at the clouds, and he was lazy. (Being lazy deserved two listings, Ino thought, just because he was _that_ lazy.)

She thought it was really annoying that he was the only genin to pass the chuunin exam, and the only genin who didn't _want_ to pass the chuunin exam. She should have hit him harder during training; he definitely deserved it.

It was even more irritating, the way some people spoke to her about him now.

"Oh, it must have been so wonderful to have someone as brilliant as him on your three-man team, Ino. You must have learned a lot from him." Oh, yeah. The best way to avoid a fight because you wanted to take a nap. Ino learned a _lot_ about that. How to best slack off on missions just enough so that your teammates wouldn't come after you with kunai (or, well, just Ino, because Chouji adored Shikamaru).

It wasn't that she wasn't proud of him, it was that he was just so... so... _frustrating_. It wasn't her fault if he was so irritating that she felt compelled to yell at him constantly.

The least he could do, she thought, for putting her through all this, was to at least be like a pineapple so she could have a proper metaphor.

But he wouldn't even do that for her.

Ino really _liked_ metaphors. She'd have to broach the subject of having a pineapple-personality with him the next time she saw him. She'd have to make sure to have a lot of sharp objects with her when she did it, though. A lot of sharp objects. He'd never agree otherwise.

In fact, she thought disgustedly, even if he did agree (with the assistance of the sharp objects), he probably wouldn't follow through. That was exactly the kind of half-assed thing he would do. Maybe it was better just to give up now. And the next time she saw him, instead of forcing him to be a pineapple, she should cut off his hair and just solve the problem completely.

It was really annoying how, despite Shikamaru's obsession with avoiding troublesome things, he was the most troublesome thing Ino could think of.

She should just stop thinking about him, really. In fact, she thought with sudden excitement, it was _Sasuke_ that was the perfect sort of person for a fruit metaphor. His head _did_ kind of resemble a deformed apple....

No one could convince her that the spikes in the back of his hair weren't supposed to be a stem!

---

Notes: Hm... she really didn't think Sasuke's metaphor through very well. Because if the back of his hair is the stem, then that would make his face the ugly bottom part.... Anyway, this isn't really that good, but I like it. Ino amuses me, and I love Shikamaru. Ino's obsession with metaphors is possibly my own, though I've never analyzed my obsessions enough to be sure. The comparison to pineapples? Well... his head DOES resemble one....


End file.
